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 Shinji Asakura

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Shinji Asakura




Posts : 4
Points : 4
Join date : 2010-06-18

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PostSubject: Shinji Asakura   Shinji Asakura I_icon_minitimeFri Jun 18, 2010 9:58 am

Name:Asakura,Shinji

Rank:Captian

Age:250 but look's 16 (Actual First and Appearing Second).

Appearance: :Shinji has a tanned complection, with an athletic type body.His hair is kinda short.His eyes are brown.He has a scar on his back from which he got from fighting the hollow that killed him. He also has the scarf the women who cared for him made.Shinji hair is also brown but when he gets mad it turns red.His brown hair about shoulder lenth.A peice of his hair sticks out and goes between his eyes.His hair is somewhat frizzy.

Gender:male

PersonalityShinji is friendly with other people.He always hate doing anything that is unnecessary seeing that he is very lazy.He hates to see people sad so he always try's to cheer them up by doing something funny usually embarrassing.Shinji always loved to gaze at the sky but he never knew why he loved doing that.He also loved to training seeing that he always want to be the strongest he can be.He can be very clueless at times and also very quiet.He also hates to see people lie to them self.

Division:11

--------------------

(This piece is optional)

Hair Color:brown

Likes:
women
sake
chess

Dislikes:
fighting
being weak

Crushes: What does your character find attractive in others?[/color]

--------------------

Specialties:He can drink alot of sake

History:Shinji was born in Karakura Town where he had two brothers who were older than him.Shinji was very close with his brother's seeing that they are the only family he had known,he had never meet his parents.Shinji spent a lot of time daydreaming and looking at the clouds wandering was there really a god.When Shinji was 9 he was going home one day from school when he got home he had found both of his brother's killed.Shinji was placed in an orphanage in a distant town.The place was weird it also was dirty and had mice always running around and they where not scared of nothing or anybody.Shinji hated the place and the fact that they tried to get him to do work.When he was having his 14 birthday party he had made a plan to escape the night before the party.While his party was going on he had one of the other kids in there cut the lights so that he could escape out a window.Shinji was successful in escaping.When the lights were cut back on they found that he had escaped, but they did not care.Shinji lived on his own for a while but he found a way to watch t.v.Shinji had learnt karate from watching others, and practicing his technique and taught himself how to survive alone.One day when Shinji was 18, he was walking to the grave yard at night to go gaze at the stars,Shinji loved to do that, it was one of his favorite thing in the world.When Shinji got there he saw one of his sprite buddies being attack by a monster. Shinji was very scared but still he did it, he had to, if he wanted to save his friend. Shinji grabbed a big piece of wood that had been abandoned with a pile of rubbish near the graveyard and charged at the monster. The monster plucked Shinji up from the air and threw him back to the ground as if he was nothing.Shinji felt weak, but still wanted to help his pal. He gathered his last amount of energy and then ran away, to a store that was at the bottom of he hill; once there he bought a katana.The katana was all black with a red and black hilt,it was also a normal size katana. It was kind of funny a katana would be sold at a corner shop, but Shinji didn't think about that for too long as he raced back up the hill.Shinji charged at the monster and was able to chop it in half. Shinji felt very good defeating the monster. In his haste to leave the dead monster, Shinji didn't notice it's final swing towards him, and was flung onto a spiral of a nearby tombstone, where he died.

Shinji woke up in Soul Society with some women looking after him, after some time the women and him became friends. The women saw how good shinji was at fighting so she sent him to the academy.When he got into the academy he got into a lot of trouble seeing that he is very lazy,he would fall asleep in the middle of a lesson.The main thing he got in trouble for was the fact that the sensei's would think that Shinji is ignoring them when he was daydreaming,even though he would daydream to ignore them so he could never really get mad when they screamed at him for not paying attention to what they where teaching.One day when he was walking down the hall he had over heard some of the other students talking about a empty captain spot in the 8 division,he then thought why not try an get that spot.From that day forward he actually tried to do his work even though he did not work at it very much he did very good work.Shinji got bored of not having daydreaming in a while.Shinji then had graduate after a year of making OK grades,and then made his way out of the academy and to the central 46 asking about the empty captain spot.They told him he would have to fist prove he is battle ready for the position.Shinji then was told to come back next week to prove he was battle ready.Shinji came back in a week as he was told.They made him fight a average height man an about the same size as Shinji.Shinji swung various of attacks at him but he seemed to dodge them all but one that hit him in his chest close to his heart.Shinji was on the offence the most of the fight,while the man was on defence.Whn the man was on offence he hurt Shinji very bad causing some internaly. Shinji did not kill the man seeing that is something Shinji hates to do. Shinji body was damage very badly he had cuts all over his body,mostly on his chest and arms. Shinji was then sent to the fourth squad barracks to be healed.After the had healed Shinji he headed for his barracks and saw everybody waiting for him.Shinji came in and said ''hey'' before going into his room an going to bed.


Sample Chapter:
((OOC-MADE THIS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER))
Shinji stood silently, taking in the world around him. It seemed like a normal city, but everything seemed as if it were in shambles. He started walking forward, past dilapidated old buildings and began seeing people. The throng of people began to thicken as he went farther towards the center of this giant megalopolis. He stopped at what he thought was a stall produce stall and asked the little old lady behind it,"Excuse me, but do you have any fruits, like apples or oranges?"
The woman scoffed and replied in a hoarse, commanding voice,"Food? We don't even need food here, not unless you're on of those fancy Shinigami."Shinji walked away, confused. He was looking at the ground, confused, when he bumped into a thick, unyielding figure. He was knocked to the ground, rubbing his head. He looked up to try and see the man's face. Then he continued to look up, farther still, until he was almost tilting his head all the way back."Watch where you're goin, ya lil runt!" grunted the giant man who was dressed in all black robes, a sheathed katana at his side.
Shinji met the man's heavy gaze and his anger flared as he stood. The man's eyes narrowed as he looked Shinji over and laughed. "What, you think you can take me? Let's see ya try!" he challenged. Shinji's anger reached a whole new level and he could feel it seething through him and out into the air. The giant's eyes bulged as Shinji launched himself into the air, spin kicking him across the face and knocking him into a brick wall with such force it crumpled on top of him. There were two other man dressed in similar clothing that looked at him as if he were a nasty stain. Both tried to rush him, but his gymnastic talent wasn't just for show. He cartwheeled between them with no hands, snatching both their katanas as he went. He held them aloft, no clue as to what he was doing, acting on instinct as three more guys showed up, each drawing their own katana.Now Shinji was outnumbered, but he let himself slip off, as he did in gymnastics. His entire body was now primed to fight for survival. He rushed the first two guys, spin kicking in the air and catching them both. As his foot left the second guy's head, he switched the direction of rotation and began rotating forward. He landed on two unsuspecting blades and brought the hilts of the katanas he held down on their noses, knocking them both unconscious. The remaining guy swung at him before the other two had a chance to fall. Shinji jumped in the air, directly in the path of the sun. As he fell, he began to spin rapidly, bearing down on the remaining man. He grinned as the man scoffed and blocked his attack, grunting triumphantly. However, Shinji wasn't done; he let his momentum carry his spin and he rammed an elbow into the small of the man's back, crippling him.Shinji stood there, surveying what he had done. The first man, The Giant, as Shinji decided to call him, was pulling himself from the wreckage of the wall.Shinji was over him immediately, a blade at his throat. "Peace, little one. That was imppressive, I gotta hand it to ya. You're new here, I can smell the real world on ya. Come with me. You're impressive, so I'm takin' ya someplace to learn. You, my friend, are gonna become a first rate Shinigami." he said, and stood, leading Shinji to his new destiny and a brand new life.


Last edited by Shinji Asakura on Fri Jun 18, 2010 6:15 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Rommel

Rommel


Posts : 50
Points : 30
Join date : 2010-03-13

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PostSubject: Re: Shinji Asakura   Shinji Asakura I_icon_minitimeFri Jun 18, 2010 3:24 pm

First of all, you need an appearance.

It helps when you write to put a space after you put a period and start a new sentence. Also, you only put the apostrophe S when there is a contraction or when it shows ownership. Themselves is one word. Also, I would suggest maybe checking for application for gammar as the sentences are a little choppy.

In your history you start out by saying his brothers were all he knew and he grew close to them so, what happened to your parents? At one point you say "She monster" I think you meant The monster. Please, put this through a word processor if you have one. The sentences can make little sense at times and I think if you ran it through spell check a lot of those problems would go away. I could go through every sentence and point out all the problems if you don't have something with word check. Also, please split this up into two paragraphs at least. One for your life on Earth and one in Soul Society. Expand on the fight with your partner to become a Captain however, I don't know if the 8th Division Captain position is open so you might want to check that first. If you fix up your grammar and elaborate on your fight to become Captain I may be able to approve you (As a NORMAL Shinigami not a Captain).
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Rommel

Rommel


Posts : 50
Points : 30
Join date : 2010-03-13

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PostSubject: Re: Shinji Asakura   Shinji Asakura I_icon_minitimeSat Jun 19, 2010 4:02 pm

APPROVED as a normal Shinigami for Captainship you will have to ask Kyrie.
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PostSubject: Re: Shinji Asakura   Shinji Asakura I_icon_minitime

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